Holy Bewilderment

Have you ever looked over the edge of a cliff, or been on a hike and came upon a gorge? Magnificent sights are they not? Majestic!

I was reflecting on this on Monday and then a reality hit me: I have the same, seemingly unbridgeable gap in my own life at times.

The gap? My head to my heart.

For years, I engaged God in my head.

I believed in Him.

I had a relationship with Him.

I spoke at small and large events about the importance of living by Faith in Him.

It wasn’t until this journey that began a few short years ago that my gap became real to me...

…and started to become bridged.

God’s words to me, “You taught it. Time to live it, bud!”

I am learning to engage Him in my heart, not just my head.

The difference? Trust.

What is the bridge, I asked a dear friend and mentor just recently?

Gratitude.

For years, I believed and I said I trusted.

But I didn’t. Not really.

Who did I trust? Me. I trusted my effort, my ability to get things done, my accomplishments.

What did that get me? Brokenness. Misery. Burnout. Being unsatisfied (hmmm…sounds like a book idea!).

I am quickly approaching the two-year mark of embarking on this adventure with a new business and new career.

Has it been everything I thought it would be?

Yes, and more.

Has it been fulfilling?

Yes, and more.

Has it been purposeful?

Yes, and more.

Have I made tons and tons of money?

Nope, not at all!

I have commented often: “I have never in my career made so little money but been so satisfied, fulfilled, and joyful.”

And I truly mean that.

For years, I lived out of my head, pursuing what I and others wanted (mostly what others wanted for me), chasing money, position, title, power, and success as culture would define it.

The result? Frustration, burnout, emptiness, anxiety, unsatisfied.

“Holy Bewilderment”

Living for self = anxiety, emptiness, unsatisfied, burnout, confusion

Living out of belief-gratitude-trust = peace, fulfillment, purpose, satisfaction, joy

What about you? What is your focus? What do you live for?

The bottom-line: may we all experience a little “Holy Bewilderment” in our lives today.